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Pregnancy Banter Milestone Cards

Help your friend get through pregnancy with our Banter Milestone Cards... perfect to capture those moments you want to keep forever! Just to warn you they're NOT for the easily offended but they make a bloody brilliant gift!!


Card Info
- A6 glossy one sided card - Front is matt for you to write on
- 40 cards related to all funny shit related to being up the duff
- 350gsm high card
- Packed in cellophane with a label - boxes still in production

What's in the box?

  • 12 week scan - hope this baby isn't a munter
  • 18 weeks - Chronic Heartburn & my tits are killing
  • 20 weeks today - It's a motherfucking Boy
  • 20 weeks today - It's a motherfucking Girl 
  • 22 weeks - Pissing non stop 
  • 25 weeks - More than half way bitches! 
  • 30 weeks - can't shave my own minge 
  • 33 weeks - 7 weeks until I'm cracked off my tits on gas and air
  • 38 weeks - Baby is the size of a melon & I'm the size of a fucking house
  • 39 weeks - eating Vindaloo everyday. Let's pray I don't shit on the midwife
  • 4 weeks - Already hate every human I come in contact with
  • 40 weeks - Almost time for my fanny to be the size of a watermelon
  • 6 weeks Pregnant - morning sickness is a cunt 
  • 8 weeks - Please tell me this sweating will stop
  • Baby Shower Day - FREE PRESENTS mother fuckers
  • Can't be fucked with anything today 
  • Craving all sorts of shit today 
  • Don't mind me - Just resembling a fucking whale 
  • First trimester  - completed it mate!
  • Forgetting fucking everything.  Baby brain is a bitch
  • Got fingered by the midwife today 
  • Hairy as fuck - my stomach looks like it's wearing a fucking toupee
  • Hello Hemorrhoids 
  • How long can I live in leggings?
  • I can smell fucking everything 
  • I DID IT! Fanny is fucked but I have a baby - YAY
  • I no longer have feet - just two fat fucking pasties on legs 
  • I stink of puke!
  • I'm Pregnant Motherfuckers!
  • Maternity leave mother fuckers
  • Moody bitch - may not be the pregnancy though 
  • My ankles are swollen as fuck
  • My face is like a fucking balloon today 
  • My nipples are fucked 
  • Overdue as fuck & my fanny is the size of a rolled up duvet 
  • Pregnancy glow - kidding it's sweat!
  • Regretting not being on the pill today
  • Still brewing Bitches 
  • Tits are leaking, fanny is hurting & I'm swollen as fuck but I've got 9 months off soon! 
  • Waddling like a fucking penguin - this baby better be worth it
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