Our Banter Milestone Cards - Just to warn you they're NOT for the easily offended but they make a bloody brilliant gift!! You can even add the Babies name & DOB to the back of the cards.  Select from the drop down below to pick the Cards you want - the  description tells you which cards are in each bundle :)

Card Info

• A6 glossy one sided card - Front is matt for you to write on
• 40 cards in each bundle
• 350gsm high card
• Packed in a box

Baby Bundle 1 - Age Bundle: 

• I'm born mother fuckers
• 24 hours old and already the boss of the house
• 2 days old & already getting more likes than you on Social Media
• 1 week old bitches
• 2 weeks old motherfuckers
• 3 weeks old - is this getting boring yet
• 4 weeks old and still no one gives a fuck
• 1 Month ago I ruined Mummy's fanny
• 5 weeks old - already hate other humans
• Shout out to my Mum for having no sleep for 6 weeks
• 2 months of no fucking sleep for my mum
• Not sure how these twats have managed to keep me alive for 3 months
• Met Mummy & Daddy today for the first time, what a pair of bellends
• 4 months old & fucking iconic
• 17 years and 8 months left until I move out I mean 4 months old today
• 5 months old & already better looking than my parents
• Half a motherfucking year old - Yaaas
• 7 months of no sleep for my cunty Mum
• 8 months old ya bastards
• 9 months old & fucking fabulous
• 10 months old today & already realised humans are cunts
• 11 months old today - almost a geriatric. Help
• I'm so sorry you've had to endure 12 months of these fucking pictures
• 1 today and still a cunt
• 2 today and still not fucking sleeping
• OMG I survived 3 years!

Baby Bundle 2 - Other Bundle:

• Bit my Mum's Nipple Today
• Daddy asked the doctor to give Mummy an extra stitch... what a twat
• Finally off the tit
• Hello cunts
• I got Mummy 9 months off work bitches 
• I haven't let mummy sleep for a whole week
• I kept my mum up all night
• I pissed in mummies hair
• I said my first word today & it was fucking "DAD"
• I said my first word today & it was fucking "MUM"
• I slept for a whole hour
• I wasn't planned
• I woke up like this… kidding I haven't been to sleep 
• I'm a member of the no sleep club
• I'm the reason mummy drinks
• I'm the reason mummy pisses when she sneezes
• I'm Iconic as fuck
• I'm Fucking Fabulous
• Last day of breastfeeding so mum can finally drink wine yaaaay
• Met Santa for the first time didn't like him
• My First Christmas it's not all it's cracked up to be
• My Dad actually changed my nappy today... It's a miracle 
• Ruined my mum's fanny still cute though
• Refused to have my nappy changed today so here I am… sat in shit 
• Said my first word today now I'll never shut the fuck up 
• Today I ate solid food and made a fucking mess
• Today I cried nonstop for no reason
• Today I cut my first tooth thank fuck
• Today I did an explosive shit
• Today I did my first shit in the bath
• Today I shit everywhere
• Today I smiled for the first time I just needed a shit
• Today I started bastard walking
• Today I was a little twat
• Today I'm being a little bastard because I'm teething
• Today my mum realised I was just as Cunty she is 
• Today I was a little cunt in public
• You cunts better like this photo
• Pissed on Daddy Today - Not even sorry 
• Just ruined another fucking outfit 

Toddler Bundle 1 - Age Bundle:

• Officially a toddler... & fucking fabulous!
• Toddler aka the cock block
• 1 year old & already a little cunt
• 13 months old bitches 
• 14 months old & fucking fabulous
• 15 months old & loving life
• 16 months old & already the best looking family member
• 17 months old & fucking iconic
• 18 months old mother fuckers
• 18 months of making the house a fucking mess 
• 19 months & already hate humans
• 20 months old ya bastards
• 21 months old – wish they’d stop counting in fucking months!
• 22 months old & already planning lunch dates
• 23 months – they might finally stop counting in months now
• 2 years of stopping Daddy getting any action
• Can you believe I've been alive for almost 2 fucking years?
• 2 years old & already got more friends than my Mum
• Here's to the terrible two's
• Kept my mum awake for around 27 months – yaaaas
• Its official I’ve been a little twat for 2 & a half years!
• Not sure how these twats have managed to keep me alive for 29 bloody months
• 3rd Christmas - already realising my parents are cheap bastards
• 4 years of completely shit fridge art
• 3 today & asking way too many fucking questions
• 3 years old already got my parents running around after me like the fucking royalty
• 3 & a half years of hell for my parents. But look how cute I am
• 3rd year being alive & already attended 500 fucking parties
• 4 years old & already getting more likes than you
• 4 years old & still can't wipe my own arse 
• 5 today and already the boss of the fucking house
• 5 years ago I ruined Mummy's fanny
• These dicks act like I think Santa's real - I'm 5 not stupid
• Almost 5 and my Mum still doesn't have a fucking clue what she's doing 
• 5 years old & this bitch is my slave 
• ONE - OMG I'm ONE, No sleep for mummy, Excessive Shitter
• TWO - Terrrible twos, whiny bastard, Officially cunty
• THREE - Threenager, Hardly fucking sleeps, Rancid Shits, Extreme cock block, excessive snack eater
• FOUR - Finally in school, Overly Needy, Unruly as Fuck, Really Fucking Spoiled
• FIVE - Five going on Fifteen, Impossible to control, Very cunty, Eating Machine

Toddler Bundle 2 - Other Bundle:

• Always fucking hangry
• Calpol is my crack
• Crawling wanker
• First day of nursery – you cunts better like this photo
• First day of potty training – wish mummy luck
• First hair cut – Cried the whole fucking time
• First trip to fucking A&E
• Hate this bitches cooking
• I can finally fucking walk
• I cry for no fucking reason
• I just shit my pants in public 
• I made Mummy cry Today
• I never let mummy take a piss in peace
• I tried to eat my own poo today
• I’m going to hate this photo when I’m 18
• I’m the reason mummy swears a lot
• I'm so fucking iconic
• Look at me using a potty like a fucking genius
• Look how grown up I am ya cunts
• More shit fridge art
• My Dad is well pissed off with me today
• My first Holiday Mother fuckers
• My tooth fell out – look how hideous I look
• Night in with Daddy so mummy can get shit faced
• Pissed my pants – still cute though
• Stopped my Dad getting laid again last night
• Stuck to mummy’s arse
• Thank fuck I can’t read this yet
• Today I cut my own hair
• Today I pissed in the bath
• Today I said my first swear word
• Today I shit on the carpet
• Today I tried to eat another child in nursery
• Today I was a little shit in nursery
• Today I was a little twat at the supermarket
• Today I wiped my own arse & failed
• Today I’m a miserable twat because I was up all night
• Tooth Fairy came mother fuckers
• WHY? WHY? MUM WHY?
• Wish these cunts would stop taking photos of me